Wednesday, September 24, 2008

You win some...you lose some...

Disclaimer: feel free to draw your own conclusions...I quite frankly don't care...

BGM: Moloko - Time is now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylvBSOS7Avs

Ok...so today I faced my fears and decided to look into something I hadn't paid attention to in a while...

and realised that I lost something. Not that this particular something was mine or anything ... but something I had fair interest (to say the least) in, was no longer available.

Now I don't know how to feel...should I feel happy that someone else is enjoying what I lost (pffft) or should I be upset that I didn't try harder to get what I wanted?

Looking back...the 'signs' were all there...many opportunities were had...but anyone that knows me knows that I'm oblivious to these things...innocent if you will. Yes I know what you're thinking...useless!

My mate (who doesn't know i've made this discovery yet) said a while ago that with anything you truly want...you gotta be prepared to lose it. I don't think I prepared myself to lose this, but I didn't think I thought i'd be as calm as this when I did!

I don't know...did I lose out cos I lost sight of what I wanted? Did the value of the object of desire change? Lessen even? Did I change? Did it change? Did someone else prove they wanted it more?

Irrelevant questions I know. You can't wish for a better yesterday. I think i'm fine...it's not like i've never gotten what i've wanted before. But I am getting tired of it.

Moral of the story: fuck waiting for the right time. The right time is now. I know it's cliche but sieze the fucking day...carpe diem that shit!

As for me...I need to really man the fuck up. Can't afford to let this get me down...I got history to make!

End Chapter...

PS: I hope you're happy...I really do. You're a great person and deserve the best. I hope you get treated like the queen you are!

PSS: RIP to Lola B. I pray that you're safe in heaven with the rest of the family.

PSSS: For those of you out there that drew your conclusions, I know this post goes completely against what I wrote in my previous post. But i'm man enough to know I lost out cos I didn't stand up to be heard...I didn't sieze the day. Let this be a lesson. What you want wont always be around...so if you have it in your hands and you want it bad enough you'd die for it, grab it with both hands and never let go...NEVER!!!

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